One of the Best Pieces of Advice I’ve Received
What is one piece of advice you’ve been given that has stuck with you? For me, it came from a prior boss of mine. Back when I was a young, ambitious, management protégé and wanted to conquer both the world and the company I worked at, my boss and I at the time got to talking about management styles – the good, the bad, the effective, the ineffective.
He said to me, ‘Remember, you can learn just as much from a bad manager as you can from a good one.’ He went on to say that in many cases you learn more from a bad manager because you learn all the things NOT to do as a manager, and there seem to be so many of them. Whereas the good manager, yes, provides the good example of what to be, and you should emulate that, but you don’t always recognize or appreciate it until you’ve had a ‘bad’ manager because it doesn’t cause you grief or stress.
That stuck with me for a long time. I went back and viewed the managers I had had over the years and he was right. I had learned A LOT from the ones that weren’t really what I would consider ‘management material’. There was favoritism, poor communication skills, power trips, lack of interest in what they were managing, and sometimes just a general lack of care about their people.
As a result, I either learned, or continued to confirm for me, how I didn’t want to become that type of a manager, or even that type of person. I didn’t want to be the manager who played favorites because I had experienced both realms of that — being the favorite, but also not being the favorite. I had watched the breakdown that would happen and the bitterness that would ensue when there was poor communication, if there was any communication all. I learned that a manager’s enthusiasm for what we’re working on is contagious. Most importantly, it confirmed for me that people matter and genuinely showing you care about the people on your team is part of just being a good person too.
So how does this all tie into crafting and crochet and scrapbooking? It shows us that despite the disappointment of failed projects or poorly written patterns or enduring less than stellar interactions with fellow crafters there is a positive in there….if you look for it. What could possibly come out of a failed project? Well, maybe you learned something about yourself. Maybe you learned a new stitch, despite the project. Maybe you learned a little more about how to effectively write a pattern and the importance of test-driving it. Just maybe you learned how to extend grace to someone who didn’t appear to ‘deserve’ it.
I was reading Didn’t See That Coming by Rachel Hollis and she described an interview she did with Greg McKeown and how she had lamented about being called a Pollyanna, and not in a good way. His response was that “Pollyanna turns a negative into a positive. That’s not something to be ashamed of, that’s something to be admired. A person who can turn a negative into a positive can never be defeated. It’s a super-power.”
I’m not trying to be all Pollyanna and only view the world through rose colored glasses. But really, why bitch and moan and lament about less than desirable outcomes? Why not try to take something positive away from it? Now I know some of you will say well what about death, how do I take something positive out of that? And that’s a tough one, but think of all the good memories you had with that person. And think about how you want to treat people so that when one of your days comes, you know you were the good friend to them or the good mother, or the good in-law. You treated them with respect and gratitude. No, it won’t bring them back. But death is a constant reminder to do the little things well. As a chemo friend of mine once said, “Do Today Well”.
The next time a project doesn’t turn out. Or you’re disappointed with someone take a step back and DECIDE to take something positive away from it. Maybe it’s just that the darn project is done and that you’ll never, ever make another one of those. That’s okay too. Maybe its giving grace when you’d really rather not.
Beyond the crafting, this philosophy holds true for how you interact with people in general. You can learn just as much watching how a fellow customer bitches and moans when they’re returning merchandise, and how you are intentionally choosing a different path. It doesn’t make you better than anyone.
It just goes back to the fact that everyone has a story, a journey they are living. You don’t know where that person is in their journey, or why they are unleashing on the store clerk like they have a vendetta against her/him. But you get to choose YOUR story. Be sure to make it a good one.
What is the best piece of advice you’ve received? Add it to the comments below!
